There are those days as I wait for the kids to return from a weekend away with dad, when I physically ache for them. The best part of any divorce is that you get a break.
The worst part of divorce is that you get a break.
I had this really unbelievably morbid thought today as I sat here aching: It’s that I can’t even imagine the pain of what it must be to lose a child, or have your child be physically hurt. I know what you must be thinking… why would you even go here…?
I think because lately I’ve been watching TV again and I am privy to all the things that go on in the world that I was blissfully ignorant of before and when I hear about these things it makes me lose a piece of my heart and soul every time. Just even the fact that it’s a part of the news along with every other happening and… then the weather… like, the fact that the world does not actually just stop rotating on it’s axis in response to a child’s pain or suffering just confounds me…
How would that be possible?
On a lighter note (oh thank God, you must be saying…) both kids got home from school safe and sound. I’ve not seen them since Friday morning when I dropped them off at school , and I felt like a puppy at the window- acting a bit like one too, practically slurping their faces off with happiness… home again, home again, oh boy… wag wag.
During our after school snack my daughter informed me that her class is performing a play , at school. She said that’s three hours long and so I should start practicing sitting still starting, like now ( no comment) and then she said…
“and I need to warn you mom, it’s a little violent”
really? I asked… “In what way?”
“Well, there is a hanging- because, see it’s -old fashioned… back in the olden days when they killed people”
and then I thought to myself… “wow, right… she does not really have a concept of what the real world is like”… she does not have a concept because I have shielded her from the media, news and violent and devastating things since the day she was born, but one day, she’ll find out… and when ever that someday comes – it will be a someday way too soon.
I wish she never had to know… that she would continue thinking that “hangings” are the worst of it, and that this form of barbaric behavior is a past tense but I know i can not shield my baby forever…
It makes me realize though, how critical our role: as mothers- It’s OUR LOVE for our children that is the only thing powerful enough to stand firm against the wrong that is done… mothers united with mothers who are united with mothers, all over the world. Deep thoughts I know, but damn if motherhood does not make it so.