Are You There Vodka?


Today I lost my son, and his play date.

They were just going to the basement to play… one minute I saw their small forms heading that way and 15 minutes later when I went down the basement to see how they were faring … there was no them.  (Our spacious finished basement is around the side of the house and you have to go outside to get to it!)

It was dark.
My heart sank.
My son does not turn off the lights- he only turns them on, which means that for the 15 minutes I was inside thinking they were in the basement….they were… gone.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic.

I panicked.

I began to call for them as I looked in the yard, and around the perimeter of the house, inside, outside, in the garage? while yelling their names.  I got especially wound up when I got to the part where my son’s coat was in a heap at the end of the driveway and a scooter lay on it’s side. I looked down the street. Could they have walked down the street? no. would they do that?

I ran to the neighbors house.. maybe they went to see T.J.?

I could see her son sitting quietly doing his homework when I knocked on the door and my heart sank even lower.

She joined me in the hunt and I got into the car and started to drive the new neighborhood. It’s windy out and it’s getting to be 4:00 soon and I can barely hear my own voice as I call into the gusting sound of the tree’s.

It’s way too quiet otherwise-  Where IS Everybody?!!

I drive around the block several times and I see two teenagers-  “nope” they say in that slouchy uninterested way.

I am coming out of my skin.

“If you see two little boys I want you to tell them to stay with you! and… don’t just SLOUCH there! DOOO SOMETHING! Don’t you have a BMX bike or something????!!”

I began to hyperventilate. My head started to hallucinate

“Um, yeah… about that little boy of yours you left in my care … um, … he’s gone.”

Police cars, siren’s…  ok SNAP OUT OF IT MONICA!!!  FOCUS AND CALM THE HECK DOWN!

Prayer:  “God… don’t do this to me. Don’t you do this to me. Not this. Not Now, NO. NO. NO.
“ok, please God, please… just lead me to these little boys…please make them be ok. WHERE ARE THEY ???!!!!

I saw the postman in the distance and honked him down like a crazy maniac…

“I haven’t seen them Mame”

I’m crying now. Oh dear God where are they?

“Please! please if you see them….” I’m begging him.

Back to the house: My neighbor waits in case they came back. Her face is grim.

Time is ticking. I make the decision now to call for back up – I’m unable to think clearly. I am terrified.

I dial 911

Crying harder now as my panic continues to rise…

“He’s blonde, freckles. khaki pants, 4ft, has a blue shirt on, with a white wolf… it’s Tea Collection (???)
I don’t even know what I am saying anymore…. It’s getting dark. His little friend …  brown hair…smaller, I don’t recall what he was wearing.. OMG where are they????

The postman is coming toward my home.. driving… like a bat out of hell… waving!!! OMG! WHAT?
“You found them?”

“Just a few streets over…  ? That’s far.  A FEW STREETS OVER? ARE THEY OK?”

I get in my car and follow the postman desperately scanning the street for them.  As soon as I am done hugging him and kiss every single freckle on his sweet face I will murder him.
They are obediently sitting, holding hands.. waiting..just as the postman instructed. Safe. Beautiful. Unharmed. Boys.

“Sheesh mom!- we were just SSSPLORING!” My son say’s as I try to hastily wipe the tears from my face and stifle a sob of relief.

THANK YOU GOD. Thank you.

Are you there Vodka? It’s me again.

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12 thoughts on “Are You There Vodka?

  1. That sucked!!!!!!!
    Its happened here, as you know. Holy shit. WORST!
    I am having the same reaction to yours as I had to mine… very giddy now that its over. heeeehheeeehheeeeee

  2. I practically cried reading this…and you can’t be THAT mad at him because he didn’t mean to make you almost go into cardiac arrest.

    I would definitely be leaving the mailman something in the mailbox to thank him . . . maybe the 1/3 a bottle of Vodka I didn’t finish! hehehe

    • Janene,
      Oh.. I’ll be leaving my son in the mailbox if he ever does that again! Whew! I totally agree. I’m going to leave him something amazing. THANK GOD for good people. Thank you so much for reading my blog! xo

  3. I had a scare like that this fall. My youngest was missing, police were called out, I was just about to go completely mad when a police officer shoed up with Wyatt safely in tow.The boy had been hiding in a tree r
    ight around the corner the entire time(2hrs)! I didn’t know whether to hug him or strangle him….

  4. That is down right scary shit! I could totally feel your panic! I’ve felt that way for a split second in a store when they are just in the other isle! The thoughts that race through a mother’s mind in that instant is enough to cause anyone to have a heart attack and then chug the vodka! I have to say though – as a child I would explore my entire neighborhood and all along the beach and in the woods for hours – how did we survive?! Better yet – how did my mother survive?!
    So glad they are ok :)

  5. Monica,
    The boys always will explore and drive Mommy to the brink of…well Vodka and other “little helpers”. don’t get self destructive rather, as my hubby says, deal with the boy life…(of course I want to strangle him) I am on your side, and wondering how can I get my boy to “get it” and stop the worry. Got any suggestions…since vodka only has so much jurisdiction and my sense of Power (yes Capital P) is ignored!!!
    M

    • M- sure wish I did have them. This boy thing is all new to me. I am completely at a loss. My none year old is a girl- so sophisticated, mature, reasonable. My son will almost be seven in june and everything is about Penis, Burps, Pharts, and Boogers. I am “all set.” LOL. Keep me posted if you find the magic bullet yes? Thanks for reading and responding! xo

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